jailbird.

To think,
A few hours ago our friend Brett was in jail.
And now look..
here he sits eating his Sardines and baby potato's in the sunshine.

An ode to Joburg

I heart my little village.
The dirt, the taxi's, the music, the smog, the green.
Joburg, your beautiful and i love you.
last night i ventured out into Braamfontein to go see an exhibit at the drill hall,
It was quirky and filled with a liquorice all sorts packet of people.
Thank you Joburg for giving me a super fun night.
Lets do it again?maybe next week.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

1. Put your iTunes (iPod) on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down, no matter how silly it sounds.


1) IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY ?
An Honest Mistake - The Bravery

2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY ?
Alfie - Lily Allen

3) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A BOY/GIRL ?
Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson

4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY ?
This Is An Emergency - The Pigeon Detectives

5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE ?
Doginabag - The Fratellis

6) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO ?
If You Leave - Nada Surf

7) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU ?
Oh Creole - The Rumble Strips

8) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN ?
I Can’t Dance - Genesis

9) WHAT IS 2+2 ?
Fix You - Coldplay

10) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND ?
Golden Touch - Razorlight

11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE ?
Wonderwall - Ryan Adams

12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY ?
Apocalypse Please - Muse

13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP ?
Into Dust - Mazzy Star

14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE ?
Call Me When You’re Sober - Evanescence

15) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING ?
Run - Snow Patrol

16) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL ?
Maybe Tomorrow - Stereophonics

17) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST ?
I Thought It Was Over - The Feeling

18) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET ?
Blinded By The Lights - The Streets

19) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS ?
Living For The Weekend - Hard Fi

20) WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN ?
Tissue Shoulders - The Maccabees

21) HOW WILL YOU DIE ?
Demon Woman - Flight Of The Conchords

22) WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET ?
Stop Me - Mark Ronson

23) WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH ?
Try Your Best - Kaiser Chiefs

24) WHAT MAKES YOU CRY ?
Thick As Thieves - Kasabian

25) WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED ?
Glass Of Water - Coldplay

26) WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST ?
Stop Breaking Down - The White Stripes

27) DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU ?
Sunday - Bloc Party

28) IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE ?
Emily - Keane

29) WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW ?
Chasing Pavements - Adele

30) WHAT WILL THE TITLE OF THIS BE ?
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road - Elton John

WhatWasThatFuckerThinking.com

Ive been through a war.
A war of just a little over a year, of carefully trying to take apart, what i spent years trying to put together.
Battle scars should be worn with pride.
This took me years to figure out.
People come with cracks and badly glued back together hearts.
Take my friend Hayleigh.
Talk about a beautiful person.
Physically, she's a knock out.
Internally, She's just about the nicest person you will ever meet.
Witty, sharp, hilarious, fiercely protective of those she loves, she is a trooper. In the true-est troopiest sense.
The commander and chief of one of the worst war's to hit our little village about seven months ago.
The story goes a little like this.
Hayleigh meets boy five years ago.
Boy is floored by her(As most men are)
They begin a courtship.
They fall in love.
They fall even more in love.
They fall so so in love that the rest of us are green and feel icky in our tummy's from jelousy.
They were that couple.
Where you cant see where the one begins and the other ends.
Talk of houses, his and her's toweling gowns, veggie gardens, and couples dinners ensued.
We lived in a bubble of Laughs,lovely love, fluttering hearts and 'I have found the one' haze for years.
The one day, out of nowhere(as is always the case)
He came like a hurricane and ripped the heart he had given her, which he has sworn to her, from her chest.
He took what was a great love, and turned it into a cautionary tale for woman everywhere.
That urban myth of the friend of the friend of the person you know who was honestly dating the very best guy you ever did meet, then like a bad romance novel(including the illicit office affair)he leaves you, in the dust, to run off into the sunset with whats her name from accounting who has the face of a horse, but we are pretty darn sure she must be doing something right to snag a guy like that.
She cried.
Alot.
We drank alot.
We cursed.alot.
We spoke it to death.
We asked why a million times.
We tried to figure it out(with no obvious conclusion)
We drank.
Alot.
We cried.
Alot.

And somewhere inside the hurricane of pain and desolation and utter grief.
Hayleigh Evans, found her voice.
Like the little mermaid, it broke free from the metaphorical box, rose up to meet her, embraced her, and gave her two triple A batteries to put in a torch too guide her out of the dimly lit cave and i into a world of light.
And boy did she shine when she rose up to meet the sky.
And i could not be prouder, of this theatre company owning, business woman savvying her way to the top.
Hayleigh go look in the mirror and dont ever stop looking at the glorious woman who won the battle of her own heartbreak.
And finally, to end, i would like to quote Maya Angelous:

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

It was written in the stars.

If this is not fate, then Bob's most definately not my uncle.

You had me at hellow

I think by now we all know im on the great search to somewhere.
Now i know Robert Pattinson and i are (Alas) not meant to be(he's happily in love with that skinny dark haired mopey girl from Twilight) however, i feel im setting a Robert-esque standard for my dating life.(not that i have one yet but i've seen the trailer and it looks to be jolly marvellous)
I have set up a list of yes's and no's and no thank you's and yes please's and 'goodness me MOST DEFINATELY.
For me pro's and con's are the tea and coffee of one's dating life.
Here are my top ten 'cups of tea and coffee'.

1 Must love dogs.
2 Must love my mom.(and yes, bring her flowers)
3 Must not be ashamed to shed a tear in a sad movie where the dog dies.
4 Must open the car door for me.
5 Must make me laugh.
6 Must laugh at my jokes(even if they are not funny)
7 Must have a kind heart.
8 Must have beautiful hands.
9 Must embrace my friends as his friends.
10 Must make my foot pop when we kiss(for the first thousand kisses anyway)

And Robert, if you tire of the mopey wonder, im a girl full of tricks and laughs and witty one liners that will make you laugh.
Just thought id put it out there, just incase.

table for two please.

Being single after an almost decade long relationship is tricky.
Yes its nice to have a whole big bed all to myself,
Not finding dirty socks and other boy things lying on my spotless bathroom floor.
However the whole 'I have no one to hold hands with' has got me feeling all kinds of indigo's and blue this past week.
I love Love. i honestly do. I love the feeling it brings, the cheesy romance of 'where could this go' I cant stand that moment of 'sjoe this really might be over'..
I miss little things of being part of a 'We'..
toothbrushes, his and her's, next to eachother.
The good night kiss.
The good morning, do you want a cup of coffee with extra milk, just the way you like it?
The 'he brought my mom flowers' thing.
Its hard sometimes.
Its like going on a rollercoaster without the safety bar holding you tight.
I find it exhausting, having to get to know someone new all over again, learning how to fight with someone, all over again, how to say 'i love you..and i know this might not work, and i might cry, and you might leave me, and you might want to marry me, and i might not want to marry you, and ive been down this road before, and it took years to gain the courage to leave,im scared your family will hate me,im scared in fall in love with your family and fall out of love with you. What if we start hating eachother? what if we dont?what if this is it?for the rest of our lives?'
Im one of a million single girls in the world out there right now. The only sign of my 'two-ness' remaining is the faint tan line of my once upon a time i was going to get married, engagement ring.
The dog is still moping.
The closet is still hanging empty.
And its okay.
Because it has to be, love comes when you least expect it.
let me just state, Im most definately not ready for love... but i could most definately do with a date.
I could most definately do with a kiss.
That first kiss of promise.
That first look when i first meet you in that bar that we have both been frequenting for ages and isnt it 'strange' to only be meeting now?
So in the glorious meantime of,hoping to meet you one-day, some-day, hopefully soon day, i will continue shaving my legs(just incase, you know),
wearing red lipstick(cos i want to stand out in the crowd incase you look past me), spraying just a little bit of extra perfume(incase you do really look past me, maybe you have a superhuman nose and you can sniff me out from the single girl crowd)
I know you are out there.
This makes me smile.

"I wont be a minute dear!im just putting on my face... "

Im a big believer in giving old furniture make-overs.
Yes i know it may be yellow oak and its old school and untarnished and totally valueable, but yes i want to paint it pink.
I have several DIY projects i'm busy with at home.
One being a glorious 1940's writing desk.

The wood colour is rather pitsy, but once ive shimmied a few layers of Opera pink, number four paint on it, im hoping to have this effect.

Pretty in Pink.

My red headed alarm clock.

There's a ridiculously cool redhead that wakes me up at 6.30 am every morning.
With cuddles and kisses and wet nosed encouragement to face the days trials and trebulations.
Her name is Maya and you've met her before on my blog.
Can you imagine waking up to this face every morning?

Gentleman prefer blondes.

This is my friend Marianne.
She sure is pretty.
She has a heart that is ridiculously brave, a wicked sense of humor and is honestly one of the best people ive met.
She came into our local coffee shop this morning with a brand new do.
And may i just say SJOE!Marianne you sure look super nice.

I do say madam...what enchanting wallpaper...

Redecorating is bliss.
Doing it on a budget...not so much.
Buying french pink paint yesterday(yes im painting my bedroom pink..aint it peachy)
I found the most glorious wallpaper...now, a girl can go without food for a week, but not a lifetime without beautiful wallpaper.
So i did what any sane girl in search of the ultimate in pretty would do.
I closed my eyes and ordered the little roll of wallpaper that could.
It arrives from some deliciously foreign place next Thursday, A girl can learn to love bread and water for a slice of this french pie called wallpaper a la lovely!

long way home.

If geese could make me happy.
This little one sure just did.
Happy travels down the long road my friend.

snap happy.

I could be one happy girl if all day long i had this rabbit camera to take photos with.
Id spend my days walking the green dog park, shooting old happy for 50 years couples feeding the ducks with bread crumbs.
Id sneak up behind my parents when they have their morning coffee and newspaper on the porch.
Id take photos of the sad days in my life, i feel heartbreak should be documented as much as the happy days.
Id take a photo of a beautiful boy. who knows he we could meet again through fate years later and id marry the boy in the photograph.
I imagine snapping a shot of my best friend at her little wedding.
I imagine taking photos of myself on days where i know my life is taking one step at a time.
I would take a photo of you.
and be happy putting you in a R5 frame i found at my local thrift store.

Immortal Beloved

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

Baby Zara i presume?

The latest Zara clothing campaign for tiny people secretly makes my uterus ache for my metaphorical children, Finn and Stella.
For reals.
Im more a cigarette and whiskey in hand high heel wearing kind of gal about town than i am mummy Cara, however would ya just look at these darn damn cute little people?

Tiny Dancer.

This is Joni Barnard.
This is Joni Barnard in ten words chosen by herself.

LOUD
LOOKING FOR INSPIRATION
BOUNCY
BUBBLY
LOVING
HUG HUG HUGGING
LAUGHING
BRIGHT
SOMETIMES CONTROLLING
EMPATHETIC
CARING
CONCERNED.

This is Joni Barnard.
This is Joni Barnard in ten words chosen by me.

EVERYWHERE.
WARM BEACHY SAND.
DANCING.
LOVE.
LIGHT.
FRUSTATING.
WHIMSICAL.
FEROCIOUS.
PROTECTOR.
BESTPERSONYOUWILLEVERMEET.

BunnyBunnyBunnyBunny.

I love Bunny's.
with all my heart.
I love their fluffy tails,
there's twitchy pink noses,
there little carrot chewing mouths.
I love Bunnies.

I intend on using bunny inspired furniture all over my house.
bunny lamps, ceramic bunny's.
Bunny everything everywhere.

Lucky Me Lucky Moo.

This particular post will continue to grown in story and picture as the next few weeks come to pass.(so watch this space)
Miss Mandy Roberts, friend extraordinare and i have a friday night ritual.
Lucky Moo take-out and (shock horror) The Bachelorette.
We are down to the last five remaining bachelor's, all proclaiming love and utter devotion to one cute brunette named Gillian.
She really is a peach,a doll, a real Rom com leading lady a-la reality tv.
We love her.
There have been tears, there has been drama, there has come many a shriek of anger, delight and fits of laughter all from our couch.
I hope all of you have a friend extraordinaire to share the tussers chessyness of friday night tv and life with.
Miss Mandy heres to another hundred years of bad tv, lucky moo... and You.

Happy Friday.

To make you smile a happier Friday smile.
Some pretty for your eyes to feast on.
With a lovely weekend of irish stews, food markets, date night with my best friend to go see a movie, long walks with maya the bee in the dog park sunday afternoon snoozing...i wish the same for all of you.

i carry your heart with me.I carry it in my heart.

Were life like this quote on this picture i found i think there would be more shiny happy couples with heart shaped eyes and butterflies in their tummy's walking the shimmering Jozi streets.

and the rain hissed as it landed on the red earth.

driving home yesterday i stumbled upon a beautiful black sky.
It seemed to rumble and grumble, roar and sparkle.
There really is nothing that smells more delicious and crisp than an afternoon thunderstorm.